Changes

Well we made it to the bay area and we found a house and we’ve been here for two weeks (in the house).  It’s been a crazy three weeks.  We left Las Cruces the morning of July 26th and drove, and drove, and drove, until we got to San Diego.  The boys did really well and we got to spend the night at grandpa Richards apartment, who was home in Utah for the weekend.

Monday we spent the day in San Diego at the beach, at the USS Midway, riding bikes, eating dinner at Joes Crab Shack and then going back to grandpas apartment for a swim.  It was a fun day with beautiful weather and time spent with my Dad.  Tuesday we left San Diego and drove the rest of the way to Palo Alto, CA arriving close to 10:30 at night.  This was a much harder day  for the kids and Lachlan was feverish and wanted to be held, but could not be.  Somehow we survived.

We stayed the next 4 nights at the Super 8 motel, followed by 2 nights at Homestead Inn.   During the day we were looking at houses, taking breaks by swimming and going to the park and living out of suitcases.  It was kind of chaotic as we had no routine and the kids were just plain tired of being dragged around in the car everywhere, my poor babies, I felt so bad for them.

We found two houses that we liked and one that was ready immediately.  We ended up getting offered the one that was available immediately and I was rather disappointed as I had loved the other one, but the owners were taking their time and had some repairs that needed to be done.  We didn’t have the luxury of waiting since Hans was starting work on Monday.

The house we found is nice and I will be happy here, but it’s just sad to know what could have been.  Either way we are blessed and are enjoying it here so far.  We have a split level home, 3 beds, 3 baths, a nice big kitchen, laundry upstairs next to the master and one bedroom.  Living downstairs with the office/3rd bedroom.  A 2 car garage, a small back patio and some parks nearby.  It’s a nice house, I’m getting my exercise going up and down all these stairs.  Lachlan tries to keep up with us and says “wait! wait!”.  By the time we get to the bottom of the stairs and head back up he’s still only half way down, poor baby.

We moved in Aug 3rd, the same day Hans started work, and the moving truck came with our stuff on Wednesday Aug 5th.  Since then I’ve been steadily unpacking boxes.  I’ve got the necessary things up and running, but I think we’ll still be unpacking and settling for a long time to come, especially since we’re expecting a baby soon and the energy I have left between being pregnant and managing the kids I already have is hard to come by.

Honestly it’s been hard.  I knew it would be hard, but I guess I’m just feeling emotional with all the changes that have happened and especially since we are having a baby REALLY soon.  I don’t feel ready emotionally for the baby.  Physically I would like my belly back.  I also have some temporal things that we could use before the baby comes, I guess I’ve sort of been in denial because I don’t have the luxury of having “good friends” close by yet.  People in the ward are nice, but it’s just so much to expect of them and of me to imagine I could have a good close friend yet, plus the opportunities to develop friendships amongst all my other responsibilities are few and far between.  Time is just slipping away from me as is my energy, and I just feel so vulnerable.

It’s going to be hard to adjust for me.  It has been a total culture shock coming here.  From quaint “small town” Las Cruces, New Mexico to the  huge culturally diverse bay area is just overwhelming.  It’s hard to find my niche/way around/comfort zone.  And I guess I shouldn’t and don’t expect it so quickly, I just wish I had more time to do so before the baby comes.  I know it’s especially going to be hard for Lachlan who doesn’t really know why Mommy has a big tummy, only that I tell him not to squish my tummy because it hurts me.  I already feel the impending guilt/sorrow of not being able to be available for my children when I will be so involved with this new baby.  Lachlan is still my baby and Jonny acts like a baby often because he sees Lachlan gets attention, but I don’t really let either of them get away with it(very often).

Originally, my thought was to get the baby stage over with, and so became pregnant with the baby girl we’re now expecting.  But now that my due date is looming I almost wish I had waited because of all the chaos that is our lives right now.  I guess I will have to readjust my priorities/expectations for myself once again, but it is so hard for me.

Anyways, I know this is sounding depressing, but I just kind of wanted to update everyone with what life is like.  There are lots of good things about my life though.  I’ve found it so sweet to find my boys cuddled up in bed together at night, I’ve found it so fun to see them grow and learn and help me keep perspective on where my joy should be/and is found…in my family.  I’m blessed to have a husband that enjoys his work and provides so well for us.  I’m blessed to have loving friends and family and a loving savior.  I’m blessed to live in a free country where I don’t have to worry about where my next meal will come from or how my family is going to stay warm at night.  I’m blessed to be a woman who is healthy and able to have babies.

I am excited for this new baby, and excited to give birth in my home for the last time.  My body is getting ready and it’s exciting to know the late day pains of pregnancy will soon be over.  My body and mind is remembering what labor feels like and so I’m p reparing for that and excited to do it all over again and finally have my body back.

All in all I have a good life, I just ask that you pray for me and my family as we continue to wade our way through these changes and trials of the next year with a new baby and adjusting to life here.  Thanks to all of you who have made a great impact on my life thus far and if you are reading this you are one of them.

Till next time

Erin

2 Responses to “Changes”

  1. 1
    Stacey

    Hi Erin! So glad to hear that you are doing okay, although sorry that things are tough right now. Good luck with your pending arrival-I know that you will do great!

  2. 2
    Wendy

    Erin,

    What can I say. You made such an impact on my life. I needed you to teach me the ropes of parenting and I needed you as a friend and a mentor. Thank-you for being my strength when I so desperately needed it. I have learned alot from you and admire the person you are. Your in a house!!! How exciting!! Hang in there! You are strong and beautiful. I love you!!


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