waiting for baby

ok, so i have about a month left before the day my life is over. (LOL) Dec 4th, give or take a few weeks is our baby boys due date. my first one was two weeks early and i was not as prepared as i would have liked to have been. Ok, I take that back. The only thing I did not have when the baby came were nursing bras. Man that was no fun going into the store at a snails pace, asking “Can i please get one of those nice little carts to drive around the store”

So this time around I told myself I don’t want to repeat that scenario ever again. It’s nice that i’m having a boy, in the same season as when my last boy came- so clothes are pretty much taken care of. All the other ‘nice-i-tees’ (not necessities) are 16 hours away by car. Since we are in an apartment we really had to scale down when we moved here- so we had my husbands bro and his wife store the changing table/dresser, the swing, the bouncer, the bassinet, the baby bath, and a few other things. We don’t have any means of bringing them down ourselves, which is a bummer. My parents are 75-80% sure that they will be coming down once the baby comes- but if not, I’ve come up with a few alternatives. Fortunately I have some good friends that I will probably end up borrowing stuff from for the first little while.

I feel about 75% ready (give or take a few) to have this baby. With such little time left I’ve had to ask myself what is most important, and it is so hard! I like to feel in control of my own life, and have plans A, B, and C in place. It’s not really fair, because no matter how much I prepare, I don’t think I’ll ever really be ready. So with what little energy I have after running around after a toddler,being prego, and hating to shop in the first place- somehow it will all work out. Right? It has to.

I’m getting so antsy with excitement and nervousness and mostly just waiting- I feel like I’m in limbo, because my life is about to change in a major way. So I wish baby would come already so I can get through the hard part (AKA NO SLEEP- ugh!) and restore some ‘normalcy’ to my life- see how impatient I am. I really should take my own advice and just take it one day at a time and enjoy what little time I have left as a one kid household. And I am.

I think the hard part is the unknown. I THINK I’ll be less stressed then I was with my first, but then I think I’ll be more stressed, because now I have two and How on earth am I going to have energy to pay attention to a toddler, a baby, a hubby and myself. And I really have no idea at all. I want to be able to tell people- yes, I’ll be able to participate in that, I’ll feel up to it, but I can’t- and there is so much I’ll be missing. And it’s not the END of the world- at least not forever, but man I sure hope I will have the energy to do what I must and maybe even have some energy left over for me.

The good thing is that, the second time around I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel…a place called, ‘my baby is sleeping for more than 3 minutes at night’ and ‘I actually got to take a shower today’ and “yes, i got plenty of sleep- i’ve left my old friends the zombies behind” I am one sad sight when I get next to no sleep. Combine that with the inevitable ravenous hunger that strikes because I have to feed everyone else before myself- and suddenly it’s 10 am and i haven’t had anything to eat- it’s not a pretty picture.

I think I will be nicer to myself this time around, because the baby can cry for a little while and it won’t hurt. I’ve heard second babys are easier so I’m praying that’s the case here. I’m going to need all the prayers and help I can get. I am so blessed in that I have a wonderful hubby who is willing and able to help, and good friends too. So I don’t think it will be sooo bad. I just like to overcomplicate my life, who needs soap operas when you can live my life? All for the low price of $9.95 a month. Ha ha ha.