Fish and my salvation

When we left to Utah, the LAST thing on my list that did NOT get attended to, was someone to watch our fish. I thought since we were gone for over a month (32 days to be sure) that our fish would SURELY be dead. No living thing could survive THAT long without food and clean water…could they?

Apparently Betas are a LOT heartier than your average goldfish.
I thought for sure that I felt the fishes presence leave our family circle at about the 2 week mark ;) and so for the first two weeks- this guilt would creep in occasionally, knowing that I could still call someone to come and rescue our fish- but since I was the only one really taking care of the fish, and though it wasn’t soooo hard- I secretly hoped it would kick the bucket on it’s own. So maybe in a way I (sub)consciously led the fish to it’s untimely death by not making sure it was taken care of.

Well when I returned home I was not so happily greeted by a ghostly looking beta fish. I was so sad, because not only did he not die, but he had to suffer and I was the inflictor- the “Hitler of the fish kingdom”(if you will)
I tried the equivalent of fish CPR- gave it clean water and threw in a bunch of food, because when I only put in a few flakes it was so sad to see the fish struggling to aim for the food- so I figured if I threw in a bunch he could at least get something in him and then I would put him in the clean water after he had a normal amount of food.

I did the aforementioned only to end up with a dead fish on my hands! Go figure. I think he stayed alive the whole month to teach me a lesson. I’m not sure what he had in mind, but I did learn that apparently they CAN survive for weeks without food or clean water. Who knew? They certainly aren’t healthy as my little “experiment” turned out to tell, but they CAN survive. Poor fish. :’(

During our family scripture study today, I was reading in the bible about Jeremiah being so overcome with awe at the power of God to control all things, that he was weakened in body and spirit. Some of the commentary in the footnotes noted that when we fail to recognize the power of God in the little things that he has created, then is when we start to grow heartless and insensitive. We lose compassion and tenderness which is at the heart of being a Christian. So I hope the death of this fish does not leave me out of the kingdom of God in the end. I know that God does care about the little things, even that little fish. I know that I’m not all that far gone, because I was so sad to see him struggling to live when he really was doomed to die in the first place. I know Heavenly Father is a Father of forgiveness, and I also know that I’ve done many other things in this life that could keep me out of the kingdom- so I’m betting/hoping He will forgive me for my carelessness on this one. I only hope when I meet the fish on the other side that IT can find it in it’s heart to forgive me ;) Only time will tell.