My “dirty little secret”
I have a dirty little secret.
My 3 year old is yet to be potty trained! (Queue the onslaught of rotten tomatoes and raw eggs)
Since my last post we really haven’t made much progress, if any. I have been ‘blessed’ with a child that is very strong willed, and right now (as in,for the past year) he has no real desire to use the potty. I am beginning to think he will not be the one to come up to me one day and say “mommy, i want to wear underwear” and really mean it. (like one of my lucky friends had happen to her)
We…I mean I…have tried several times and various methods to get him to go. We’ve tried the “Potty training in less than a day” method, the 3 days of ONLY underwear, where he and I cleaned up his MANY messes together and he thought it was the funniest thing to tease about “I pee on the floor” giggle giggle giggle, “I pee on the book” giggle giggle giggle when he knows full well where the pee pee is supposed to go. And then I tried waiting it out for him to come to me ( my FAVORITE method- cuz I don’t have to do anything) and then most recently the stickers, M&M’s and toys bribe chart.
Needless to say, we are no closer to being potty trained now than we were a year ago. I think this is one of the big things I dislike about motherhood. It has been so frustrating for me because Jonathan KNOWS how to use the potty he just does not care to. It has also been hard, because most if not ALL of the kids his age are now potty trained, and he’s still in pullups.
The thing that got me to start thinking that maybe I should step in,once again, is that I have been reading a lot lately about cloth diapering and how it’s safer for baby, safer for the environment, cheaper, healthier, blahbitty blah, yadda yadda…you know the deal. So I was getting all excited about it as I have been reading blogs of people that ACTUALLY use this method nowadays and meeting someone first hand last weekend that did it, and thinking possibly that I can do it too. As I pondered the work it would involve, the thought came to me- if I’m going to put baby in cloth- doesn’t that seem a little odd to still be putting the 3 year old in diapers.
So I’m really depressed about this. Changing a 3 year olds diaper is not a lot of fun, but it sure beats dealing with all the mess everywhere, and the inevitable power struggle with him, and having to stay home for eons until he decides to do it for fear of having him pee and poop in public.
So I don’t think I’m going to put baby in cloth until Jonny is potty trained for fear of being labeled a hypocrite. I just really don’t know what to do and I really have no desire to go through all that. But we cannot afford to keep buying diapers for two- urgh! I want to send him to a potty training camp…does anyone volunteer?
3 comments
Permalink1
Hey Erin my sister-in-law has three boys. All of whom are very stubborn and a little hard. Anyway, she swears by not potty training until they are ready. I know it sounds like you have already done this but I would go back to acting like he knows nothing about the toilet and I would even put him back in real diapers. With the pull ups he still knows he should be going to the bathroom on the toilet. I don’t think there is anything wrong with him not being potty trained. I have not even attempted with Allie and she is almost 2 1/2. I am just waiting for it to happen. Otherwise you kill yourself over something that is not worth it. Especially not the messes.
Permalink2
I hear ya!!! Let me begin by saying not all 3 year old boys are potty trained!
My oldest (4.5 now) was not the least bit interested until he was 3.5 years. Like you I tried everything. And had a friend with a miracle child who practically trained himself. To this day my guy wakes up a couple of mornings a month wet and has “accidents” during the day a couple of times a month.
I’ve read all the books. Tried all the methods. I believe that if a kid doesn’t want to go in the potty he won’t. We mom’s can cut ourselves a break and take the easy way out. Not that changing 3 yr. old diapers is easy (especially when you have a younger one in diapers also, which I do!). But it is easier than washing mountains of clothes and the frustration of cleaning up accidents.
I’ve taken a much more relaxed approach with my second guy. I really think there are several different skills you are teaching your child. 1. He has to learn to hold the pee in. 2. He has to learn to voluntarily make the pee come out. 3. He has to learn the mechanics of sitting on the toilet. 4. He has to learn to recognize when he has pee-pee inside his tummy that wants to come out. 5. He has to care about being wet.
My 3 yr. old has nos. 1,2, & 3 down with no problem. Not so much 4 & 5. That’s what we are working on this week.
I have him only wearing a shirt and underwear (Spiderman!). I take him to the potty, he pees, he cleans his hands (GermX), he gets 1 red hot. I set the time for 15-20 min. When the timer goes off then we do it all over again.
I really think this stage of the game is training me to remember to take him, and training him to get used to going to the potty. I don’t think he will voluntarily (meaning tell me when he needs to go) on his own for another 6 months or so. Mainly cause he doesn’t care if he’s wet. I think when he’s accustomed to being dry then being wet will bother him.
Does that help? I hope so. My biggest piece of advice is just to relax. He’ll get it eventually. Also, I use off-brand pull-ups with my guy to get him used to the feel of pulling underwear up and down. And he will still wear them for the afternoon nap and night time.
Feel free to email me.
Permalink3
Erin,
I was finally able to get to your blog. If I am seeing this right, I am the first one from you family to post any comments. Have you heard from any of your brothers and sisters or mom? Thanks for making the effort to keep us in touch. I will try to remember to pop on from time to time catch up. Your gentle reminders help.
Love,
Dad
Say something