Our baby girl was born Sept 17, 2009 at 11:45 pm after a long and tiring labor.  She weighed 8 lbs 13 oz and was 21″ long.  She’s beautiful.  We named her Brynn Elise Fugal.  She is a good baby and we’re very blessed to have her in our family.  Almost a month to the day after she was born I had to go into the hospital.  My bipolar had been retriggered with all the stress, sleep interruption and general chaos of having recently moved and trying to adjust to a new baby.  It was a rough time for us.  Thankfully both my parents and Hans’ mom was able to help out with caring for me and our babies.  And that was pretty much the rest of 2009.  Picking up the pieces of my fragile mind and trying to get back to some sense of “normal” and confidence that I COULD be a parent of 3 kids again.  We wrapped up 2009 with a trip to Utah for the holidays.

2010 has been good to us so far.  My brother Jordan got married and Grandma Guernsey passed away.  While her passing is sad, it is overwhelmingly joyous.  The last year of my grandmas life was sad to see her deteriorate from a sassy, international traveling, still taking classes at the U grandma to one that needed to be helped with the most basic of life necessities such as bathing and eating.  Even then she had no desire really to do either.  Gratefully she is in a better place with my Grandpa on the other side.

Financially we are being blessed with a generous tax refund and bonus from Hans’ work.  We have plans for using up that money to go to food storage which will be a great blessing for us.  We’ve never had the money or means to store our food since we’ve been married, so this will be a huge relief for us to have our store in case we need.  I am actually excited about it too.  It always has seemed so overwhelming and unattainable, but for this season of our life everything is falling into place and it’s exciting to me as ideas have come to my mind.  Wheat and lots of the staples are on sale this month along with the things for packing them in.  Extra storage shelves are on sale at IKEA. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.  I can see the Lord working in my life and helping me to attain a sense of security through being self reliant.

Through the chaos of the last 6 months I have come out stronger and more resiliant and happier to be where I am in my life.  I will be 30 in July which to me is “old”.  I mean, come on, my parents were 30 when I was young and to me that was “OLD”.  And here I am sitting in the “OLD” chair.  I know I still have a long ways to go to be “OLD”, but I am confident that I will leave my young adulthood with no regrets.  I’m going to leave my young adulthood with a bang and come out on top.

For the past two weeks I’ve been an invalid at home.  We had gone to the trampoline gym here, and two minutes before we left I was so cool and decided to jump as HIGH as I could, and I did.  I came down hard and my left ankle completely popped out of socket since I landed on my ankle at an angle.  It hurt soooo bad and it still hurts.  Thankfully nothing broke, but I have been in and out of feeling sorry for myself that I can’t do my normal routine or have the energy to even walk since it needs a lot of rest.  After the first week of rest, i’ve just been walking up and down our stairs anyways.  With three kids it’s kind of tough to sit around all day.  Anyways, I’m working through it doing my best to be gentle.  Next time I’ll be more careful, but it won’t stop me from jumping high.

Living in the bay area has been a reward.  There is lots to do here, it’s crazy how fast it’s going by.  Before moving here we decided on a two year plan.  Reevaluate where our life is and see if we’d like to continue on here, or check out other opportunities.  I can’t believe we’re half way through the first year and life isn’t slowing down any.  I”m enjoying life right now.  I’ve got great kids a loving husband and a good life.

We’ve registered Jonathan for kindergarten which starts in September.  I’m nervous about that, and I’m still considering home schooling but for now at least we’re committed to some kind of education for him and I feel good about that.  Right now my main focus is on food storage.  If I have energy after that I’d like to look into renting another house.  Our lease ends in August and while I love a LOT of things about our house I dislike that there is carpet everywhere.  With three kids having carpet everywhere is a big cleaning job I’d rather not deal with and we have a back yard, but it’s not really a yard so much as a patio.  Anyways, we’ll see how it goes.   I do LOVE the kitchen and the master suite, it’s sad that you either get a nice house but a lame yard, or a not so nice house with a great yard here in CA.  Oh well.

I think this is good for now, I’ll be back later sometime.  Don’t count on me to be too consistent though.  Life just keeps me busy.

Here is a picture of us that we got taken back in December while we were in Utah. Enjoy

Monday we spent the day in San Diego at the beach, at the USS Midway, riding bikes, eating dinner at Joes Crab Shack and then going back to grandpas apartment for a swim.  It was a fun day with beautiful weather and time spent with my Dad.  Tuesday we left San Diego and drove the rest of the way to Palo Alto, CA arriving close to 10:30 at night.  This was a much harder day  for the kids and Lachlan was feverish and wanted to be held, but could not be.  Somehow we survived.

We stayed the next 4 nights at the Super 8 motel, followed by 2 nights at Homestead Inn.   During the day we were looking at houses, taking breaks by swimming and going to the park and living out of suitcases.  It was kind of chaotic as we had no routine and the kids were just plain tired of being dragged around in the car everywhere, my poor babies, I felt so bad for them.

We found two houses that we liked and one that was ready immediately.  We ended up getting offered the one that was available immediately and I was rather disappointed as I had loved the other one, but the owners were taking their time and had some repairs that needed to be done.  We didn’t have the luxury of waiting since Hans was starting work on Monday.

The house we found is nice and I will be happy here, but it’s just sad to know what could have been.  Either way we are blessed and are enjoying it here so far.  We have a split level home, 3 beds, 3 baths, a nice big kitchen, laundry upstairs next to the master and one bedroom.  Living downstairs with the office/3rd bedroom.  A 2 car garage, a small back patio and some parks nearby.  It’s a nice house, I’m getting my exercise going up and down all these stairs.  Lachlan tries to keep up with us and says “wait! wait!”.  By the time we get to the bottom of the stairs and head back up he’s still only half way down, poor baby.

We moved in Aug 3rd, the same day Hans started work, and the moving truck came with our stuff on Wednesday Aug 5th.  Since then I’ve been steadily unpacking boxes.  I’ve got the necessary things up and running, but I think we’ll still be unpacking and settling for a long time to come, especially since we’re expecting a baby soon and the energy I have left between being pregnant and managing the kids I already have is hard to come by.

Honestly it’s been hard.  I knew it would be hard, but I guess I’m just feeling emotional with all the changes that have happened and especially since we are having a baby REALLY soon.  I don’t feel ready emotionally for the baby.  Physically I would like my belly back.  I also have some temporal things that we could use before the baby comes, I guess I’ve sort of been in denial because I don’t have the luxury of having “good friends” close by yet.  People in the ward are nice, but it’s just so much to expect of them and of me to imagine I could have a good close friend yet, plus the opportunities to develop friendships amongst all my other responsibilities are few and far between.  Time is just slipping away from me as is my energy, and I just feel so vulnerable.

It’s going to be hard to adjust for me.  It has been a total culture shock coming here.  From quaint “small town” Las Cruces, New Mexico to the  huge culturally diverse bay area is just overwhelming.  It’s hard to find my niche/way around/comfort zone.  And I guess I shouldn’t and don’t expect it so quickly, I just wish I had more time to do so before the baby comes.  I know it’s especially going to be hard for Lachlan who doesn’t really know why Mommy has a big tummy, only that I tell him not to squish my tummy because it hurts me.  I already feel the impending guilt/sorrow of not being able to be available for my children when I will be so involved with this new baby.  Lachlan is still my baby and Jonny acts like a baby often because he sees Lachlan gets attention, but I don’t really let either of them get away with it(very often).

Originally, my thought was to get the baby stage over with, and so became pregnant with the baby girl we’re now expecting.  But now that my due date is looming I almost wish I had waited because of all the chaos that is our lives right now.  I guess I will have to readjust my priorities/expectations for myself once again, but it is so hard for me.

Anyways, I know this is sounding depressing, but I just kind of wanted to update everyone with what life is like.  There are lots of good things about my life though.  I’ve found it so sweet to find my boys cuddled up in bed together at night, I’ve found it so fun to see them grow and learn and help me keep perspective on where my joy should be/and is found…in my family.  I’m blessed to have a husband that enjoys his work and provides so well for us.  I’m blessed to have loving friends and family and a loving savior.  I’m blessed to live in a free country where I don’t have to worry about where my next meal will come from or how my family is going to stay warm at night.  I’m blessed to be a woman who is healthy and able to have babies.

I am excited for this new baby, and excited to give birth in my home for the last time.  My body is getting ready and it’s exciting to know the late day pains of pregnancy will soon be over.  My body and mind is remembering what labor feels like and so I’m p reparing for that and excited to do it all over again and finally have my body back.

All in all I have a good life, I just ask that you pray for me and my family as we continue to wade our way through these changes and trials of the next year with a new baby and adjusting to life here.  Thanks to all of you who have made a great impact on my life thus far and if you are reading this you are one of them.

Till next time

Erin

Let the chaos begin.

Hans has been applying for jobs left and right, burning the candle at both ends, and virtually becoming superhuman in his efforts.  We are both ready to be done with school, and so are our wallets.  It’s a little nerve wracking as the end is drawing nigh.  It’s still so “far away”, but is increasingly quickly coming to an end with no “next step” in sight as of yet

Our faith is being tested as we do our part to ensure that there IS a next step.  But we’re pretty much trusting that the Lord has it all planned out for us.  We’re excited and growing in the process- figuratively and literally.  I’m not sure how much more we can fit in our apartment.  One things for sure, we’ve sure gotten creative with our use of space and downsizing to needs vs wants.

Though this time in our lives has been trying, it’s also been rewarding.  I know there are things I will miss about this simple lifestyle, so I am enjoying the benefits of it while I still can, but boy, oh boy, am I ever excited for the new changes coming our way.

If anyone wants to come and visit, the weather is PERFECT right now and we’ll show you our favorite haunts.  You’ve got until the end of may, so let us know if you’re interested, we’d love to have you

Lachlans hair has never been cut.  Hans says that Lachlan is our little Samson.  So while Hans goes to school- Lachlans hair is a symbol of strength and fortitude that Hans will be able to finish.  That was all in gest.   Lachlan looks like a miniature mad scientist, but I reckon the time has come to give him a  “decent haircut”  What do you think???

And here’s the after, sooo much better, but not as funny ;)

What a sweet baby