Growing up has a way of changing people.  Anything permanent that has changed me has been a process rather than a moment in time.  And looking back, I don’t think I would have it any other way.  Even though it’s hard to go through struggles and awkwardness in the process of becoming, it is very rewarding in the end to see that change is possible, and by golly if you give it enough time it can even work for YOU!

And yet I wonder.  Would I have gotten here any quicker if I had not been so afraid?  So many things hold us back from who we truly are, but I think fear is the number one thing.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of being ridiculed, fear of what other people think about us, fear of being too good, fear of pain, fear of humiliation…the list could go on and on I’m sure.  Is there anything good that comes of fear?  The scriptures teach us that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind.  Perfect love casteth out all fear.

We’ve also heard that the sister sin of fear is Pride.  Can I hear an amen on that one?  I have been guilty of that sin far too many times and I STILL struggle with it, and I’m pretty definitely sure that it is the struggle of human beings the world over in one form or another.

Another thing that has kept me from peace and clarity is the tendency to compare my self to others.  If I’m the only one that does this, then what a sad state I’m in.  Everyone else seems to have it all together don’t they?  Whatever it is that snapped me back into reality I am so greatful for.  Nobody is perfect and everybody struggles with something.  I have wasted far too much time trying to be someone and something that I am not.  I have beat myself up emotionally far too many times for not being perfect in one way or another.  Instead of honoring myself and what God has in store for ME, I have buried my true identity.  After way too many self help programs, diet changes, routine changes, and realizing that they don’t work in and of themselves, I am finally ready to let go and let God.

That means I am finally living (or trying to live) one day at a time.  Only this time I am not doing it on my own.  I have heard it said before that if we do not take advantage of our saviors atonement we have really caused him needless suffering.  I used to think that the atonement was for times when I REALLY needed it- like when I had some major sin or something- but I’ve found that the atonement is for my everyday life.  Every time I feel like losing my patience with my family, I can choose to say a quick prayer for strength or I can give in to the temptation (which is oh so easy).  As I have practiced inviting the savior into my life in these moments I have found a greater peace and serenity in my life circumstances.  I know that he loves me and that he cares for me.

I have stopped living for tomorrow and started living for today and what makes me happy.  If it doesn’t bring me joy, it doesn’t belong in my life.  From clothes, to food, to friends, to how I spend my time.  It is all very exciting to me to recognize my blessings as I seek for joy and bring that into alignment with my Heavenly Fathers will, one day at a time.

With that being said, I’d like to bring my two cents to the table about how voting is great and important and all, but I think that in reality, we can’t sit around waiting for the people in positions of power to make changes.  If we want to see changes in our community and in our world, we need to start personally in our own sphere of influence.

First and foremost that means how we live our lives personally.  How we treat our family members and friends, what kinds of “things” we allow into our homes: tv, books, language, music, clothing, etc.  I am by no means perfect in this area, in fact far from it.  But often times the things I see my children becoming are the things that I am either strong or weak in, relatively speaking.   So that is something we can always be working on.

Secondly,for you stay at home moms, think outside the four walls of your home.  I know for me at least, our weekly “routine” tends to stay pretty much the same.  We have the same weekly commitments, go to the same stores, visit the same friends etc…  As you evaluate your own routine find one area you think could use some change.  Is it that your appalled at the lack of respect people show to each other at times , or is it that you are sick and tired of all the garbage on the street?  What about the talk of taking music out of schools.  Pick something, ANYTHING!!! and go to work.  Don’t wait for the change- be the change.

I know, I often think that unless it’s something BIG and grandios- my voice will not be heard, but we know through scripture that it is by “small and simple things, great things are brought to pass”.  One thing my own mother passed on to me was that we should always leave a place cleaner than we left it.  Every time (or most every time) we would go into a public restroom we would wipe down the water splashes and pick up the paper towels.  We didn’t go into all the stalls and touch all the grossness or anything, but really, it doesn’t take that much time to simply wipe down the counter you’re at, maybe the mirror and then wash your hands after.  Leave it a little nicer for the person behind you.  You don’t have to be all NAZI about it and preach it to everyone, people notice the small things most of all and I think that is how CHANGE happens. That’s not to say that you won’t ever be inspired to be a part of something bigger, but the big things start out small and build on each other- so don’t leave the big things out either.  Be open and WILLING to make the change, and even sometimes to stand alone in that cause- not as a martyr, but as a friend, teacher and example.

Lastly pray to your Father in Heaven, (or I should say firstly) see where your talents are, and ask him how he can use you to be an instrument in his hands.  He will help us to be more than we are on our own.  I know that is true and I know if we trust in him, we can be powerful advocates for truth and righteousness in these tumultous last days.

So…vote!  What are you waiting for? Do good, be good, change the world and eat your vegetables :-)

The other day he came up to me and said, “Mom, I’m Luke—and you be Princess Leah”.  He got a white plastic mixing bowl that was laying around and suddenly that was his helmet.  We were going to run some errands so as we went to the car he made sure he took his helmet with him and we got into our “fighter”  which in reality is our Blue Honda Accord that sometimes I think is on it’s last leg.  So I guess in a sense it is a fighter because like the Millenium Falcon “she always comes through for us”.  As we drove around he said- “we have to shoot the skywalkers” Which I’m not sure of what he’s referring to—but it’s some ship or something from the bad guys—who knows??? He know’s what he’s talking about though—so I just made shooting noises right along with him.  We decided that Lachlan could be Chewbacca—because he makes Chewbacca like sounds and of course Hans is Hansolo.

When we picked up Daddy from school our journey into space continued.  Jon asked “hansol” to shoot the fighters with him too.  Then it was classic—Jon announced triumphantly that he had shot some fighters and “hansol” replied ” Great, kid! Don’t get cocky!“  It was so funny—it made me laugh out loud.

So we’re over here indulging our childs imagination—it’s so fun to play along with him.  Thought I’d share that little part of our life.

It’s the silliest thing to, because they will answer the phone normally- like “hello, dr so and so’s office how may i help you? “  And I’ll go into my shpill of what i need help with that day.  And after I finish they will tell me “I’m sorry I can’t help you with that- could you call the office later?” And I”ll say “Isn’t this the office?”  “No, Maam…this is the answering service”

Argh! First of all, I hate phones/making phone calls.  Secondly- why bother listening to me/asking me if you can help me when all you’re going to do is tell me to call later.  I have to spend my energy wisely and I’d rather not be talking to you if I can spare it.

So, I’m sure there’s plenty of good reasons for answering services- I’m just not interested